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In other projects Wikimedia Commons. As I believe people can love, and stay true and happy for a long period of time, becoming more deeply entwined without ever needing the legal bonds of matrimony - after all that is a legal matter not one of love. I think that Westerners hold the mistaken belief that once you make the commitment "legal" through marriage, the relationship can be put on autopilot until one of you dies. The marriage contract gives a very false sense of security and people get lazy, thinking they don't have to try anymore.
I think that being committed without marriage is more likely to keep partners on their toes and keep them trying to fan the flames, since they know that either could walk away at any moment with no repercussions. I find it interesting that although women are the ones who want to push for marriage when they are young, it is men who insist on remarrying more often when they are older and divorced.
Marriage seems to be more valuable to the two genders at different stages in life. I wonder why that is? I cannot imagine being married to someone I did not love. I can't fathom marriage as a business arrangement or convenience. I can see myself living to old age with the same lover, but I must love him.
Romantic Ideology and its Victims. Back Find a Therapist.
What Is the Best Way to Propose? What's the Solution for a Coddled American Mind? Is Love Really Essential to Marriage? Asking ourselves to fall in love many times, always with the same person. I am inclined to agree Submitted by D on May 29, - Post Comment Your name.
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Great married sex, based on her manual, could now shore up unreliable or dwindling love and thus stabilise marriage. On the other hand, the woman is slower to realize disappointment, and more often is the more profoundly wounded by the sex-life of marriage, with a slow corrosive wound that eats into her very being. Were I to touch upon all the possible sources of marital disappointment and unhappiness, this book would expand into a dozen bulky volumes. It is much to be doubted whether. Interesting and helpful for researching for my book, "The Secret Life of Anna Blanc," an hom Help for an entire generation who were bad in bed.
In the Name of Love: Romantic Ideology and Its Victims. The answer is not orgasm. Dec 29, Jennifer Kincheloe rated it it was amazing Shelves: Help for an entire generation who were bad in bed. Marie Stopes, ScD, PhD broke ground with her revolutionary and soon banned book dedicated to husbands who want to do the job right. This marriage manual reflects anecdotal research and represents the limited the knowledge of the time from a woman's perspective.
It was a courageous act by an intelligent and inquiring woman. But, don't try this at home.
Interesting and helpful for researching for my book, "The Secret Life of Anna Blanc," an hom Help for an entire generation who were bad in bed. Apr 09, Allison rated it really liked it. It is always difficult to decide how to rate something that is clearly the product of a different time period.
Four stars would be too generous were I using it to say "I found the information in this book to be useful to my every day life" in the way the author clearly intended for it to be. However, I would say it accurately reflects my interest in the book as a reflection of the ideas both common place and controversial of the time in which it was written. Dec 25, Artracer rated it really liked it. An interesting insight into the mind if s people. Every thought is cloyingly cloaked in flowery prose.
None of the thoughts are particularly relevant to people of Read it as an exercise to understand how sexuality was viewed back then. Mar 25, Sanjay Varma rated it it was amazing Shelves: She writes in a lyrical style that easily soars when she describes our potential for happiness: The introduction to this edition was possibly the best part of this edition, helping to place the book in its historical and social context, showing how thoroughly groundbreaking it was.
An indeed, I am very grateful to Stopes for arguing the case that women should have enjoyment of sex, and that relationships work better if partners take each other's feelings into account Mind.
It is also an important voice in favour of birth control, although Stopes limits her approval to its use in The introduction to this edition was possibly the best part of this edition, helping to place the book in its historical and social context, showing how thoroughly groundbreaking it was. It is also an important voice in favour of birth control, although Stopes limits her approval to its use in spacing and limiting the number of children, rather than use to avoid having children altogether. As the title of the work suggests, there is never any suggestion of intercourse outside of marriage.
I found it hard to love this book though, partially because there is a faux-scientific approach that does seem to be based largely on anecdote and is relayed without a huge amount of authority. Also, Stopes attempts to normalise her particular view of sexuality, frequently saying that she speaks only of 'normal, healthy individuals', thus implying that anyone who does not experience desire and fulfilment in the same way is not normal or healthy.
In that sense, the book is still very much a product of its time, and cannot be said to provide any enlightenment to a modern reader. However, an informative insight into the early days of Western sexual liberation, which provided a basis for much good work since. Dec 29, Beth Duffus rated it really liked it. Was Marie Stopes really a virgin when she wrote this, as claimed?
It is very knowing. It is also laced with tenderness towards those who are at the beginning of sexual activity. It recognizes that this is often not a romantic fairy tale, rather it can be a bit of an ordeal of awkwardness and uncertainty. Stopes' book must have been a life-saver for thousands of young women and men.
Although it is frank and can leave no reader in any doubt about what actually happens in the mating bed Was Marie Stopes really a virgin when she wrote this, as claimed? Although it is frank and can leave no reader in any doubt about what actually happens in the mating bed, it is none the less a book of its time circa It is written in a lyrical Mill-and-Boon style that verges on the comical compared to today's pared down styles.
Stopes was clearly a true romantic at heart. May 13, Richard Crookes added it. Well done Marie Stopes. Dec 25, Janet Pawelek rated it it was amazing. It was sososososo interesting to read this book, written in , about married sex, birth control and infertility "can very often be the man's fault, especially if he works in the city. Slightly pedantic, not always easy to follow for a non-native speaker, plus almost a century old and thus filled with century old ideas mingled with extremely progressive ideas from Stopes.