Well I believe in him but parallel not really the whole bible story because I think it is altered and installed by the man in power that are satanists but if they are satanists there must be a god and so on. When I had experienced it for the first time. I was really afraid. Sometimes all I can do is cry. As if my soul is crying with waters.
It was terrifying too much to be able to experienced it. Every time it happens to me, I will always call Lord Jesus. It is hard to call him. It lessen already the attacks. But last night, I have experienced it again. I called Lord Jesus at last and it stopped. I thank Jesus after that. Renounce and repent of your sins and please let me know if the attacks stopped. I myself was deep in sin and i still struggle till this day. But God through His love and mercy wants you to turn to Him and repent my dear. Jesus loves you and cares for you.
My mom was reading the bible at this studio I lived in before and woke up with a person choking her while he was choking her she also saw other people around her she immediatley called on the name Jesus and they never messed with her again. My mom is very strong in the Lord other places my mom lived other entities she said kissed her and she had gotten very ill buy recovered because of her beliefs. My father and husband experience evil spirits coming at them.
I told my husband to callI upon Jesus if that happens. My husband believes the Muslim culture which now he started to want to read the bible after his attack. I pray alot its like talking to God try it everything you do. I have sleeping problems and what ever is waking me up, which I think is some evil entity.
Well I got tired waking up several times at night so now I sit up pray and start thanking the Lord for everything he has done for me and my family and then I ask him for forgiveness for anything me and my family have done then I ask the Lord to Bless me, my family, enemies, Jerusalem, leader of our nation and everyone else.
Then I would ask the Lord and Decree the blood of Jesus all over me and my family and his Glory light in our mind, body and soul. You should watch Katie Souza and repeat her activations at the end of her sermon to heal your soul for different things. Please watch her and Sid Roth Supernatural I learn alot of teaching from different people that come on his show. Now my heart is set on doing Deliverance and I want the world to know that this stuff is real. I hope I helped. And Sid Roth needs to get discernment because he has a lot of false teachers on his show. Sid himself is into funny stuff.
I am in no way trying to denounce what you have shared nor am I trying to be rude and start an argument, so please do not take my question as that. My earliest experience that I can recall was when I was three. How at the age of three have I already committed a sin that would open this gateway? Thank you very much for sharing your experiences. In my case I used to get attacked every night and sometimes even multiple times a night for a period of time.
It was the enemy retaliating against me because I returned to the Lord. I have a friend in the Lord who had a very similar experience where he went through a period of attacks from the enemy. In your case it could be sins of your ancestors that opened the door for you to be attacked or could have been an occult object in your home.
Those are possible reasons why you were attacked at such a young age. If you are a believer in the Lord Jesus Christ I would ask Him to protect you before you go to sleep if you are still getting attacked. If you can perceive the demons before you go to sleep, as I can at times, I would rebuke them in the name of Jesus in faith, authority and confidence. I do and they leave. My belief is that demons our past down from generation to generation. Perhaps you had a distant relative who practice witch craft or studied the occult of some kind. For me personally, I am not sure if any of my ancestors were involved with anything like that.
However, my family comes from a long line of alcoholics and some drug addiction, which in turn is demonically influenced, and passing it down to me. I witnessed my Dad having a night terror here and there. Where he wakes up screaming from a dream, or jerks awake as if the dream he was having was a far from unpleasant dream.
But that goes a lot deeper into my beliefs of the Illuminati and from my findings, are heavily laced with Lucifarianism. Are the good Christians with high morals, or do you have something ugly that runs through your family such as myself. Learning about the Illuminati is something that was a huge indication of that to me. The world is the Devils playground, and I believe our souls are here to be either with God or against. People sin, here is the thing. I believe strongly that there are evil people who want to harm you.
I used to avoid some of my relatives because once we met and divulged any of my successes to them because they asked me how my life is , that same night, upon meeting them, I would get attacked. He will surely pay you a visit.
Ask God to revel the sources of the attacks, but do not be shocked, at times it can be from people you never expected. I hate you went through these experiences but glad to know I was not alone. Many people in my circle have never experienced demonic attacks via sleep. When I would share my experiences they would look at me like I was crazy. When I gave up my worldly pursuits for God it appeared the attacks became more intense. I pray every night for God to release angels to cover me when I sleep. I rarely have an attack, the most recent one I was introduced to a guy and I gave him a friendly hug.
Later that night I was attacked, immediately I knew spirits had transferred. I have ended all contacted with the person because he was trying to extort money from me. Thanks for sharing your testimony. I have experienced being held down by the throat while waking up. I now feel like someone is holding me down every night.
I used to practice ceaseless prayer in my 20s, but nothing like this had ever happened. It is spiritual warfare. Every Christian goes through it. Even the apostle Paul went through a lot of spiritual warfare. I usually get a sleep paralysis attack when I do something for the Lord or engage in deep, intense prayer. They are trying to discourage me.
But you can contact me on Skype Jamaalw27 or email me Jamaalw27 gmail. So will it be with this wicked generation. I am not talking about 5 minutes prayer before bed. You have to be very spiritual, fast, pray, meditate the word of God etc….
At times I myself esperience sleep paralysis. But I realized when I would have those episodes I would pray and the more I prayed the worse they got. But I was always in between decisions of keeping my baby. I came to the realization that the enemy was angry all along because I was second guessing the abortion. But thankfully I kept my baby! I still get paralysis from time to time just no where near as bad. Unfortunately we were young christians and we already agreed to get married but, we wanted to get an apartment first to get out of living arrangements that we were both living under…..
I layed down for a nap while my husband was at work….. In my sleep I had woke so I thought……I heard the door handle rattle like someone was trying to get in…. I looked over at the clock and saw the time….. Thank you for taking the time to read this….. I had something similar happen to me. During a sleep paralysis episode I heard children playing around me. It sounded so real.
Auditory hallucination or demons messing with me? I used to be a devote Catholic, even going to college at a catholic monestary and getting a degree in theology. As the passed tree years have gone by since then, I have been spiritually dead. The farthest thing from a holy Catholic girl. Experience 1 I felt hands, cold and with long fingers. They were grey and dark. I was completely paralyzed in my bed.
The pushed down in my chest and then I felt the hands grab my ankles and pull me from my bed. Then I saw demon and he was almost like a vampire. I woke up so afraid I almost wet my bed. Sorry about what has happened to you. I think perhaps it could be a demonic door opened in your home. It could be what you or what your ancestors have done in the past. Ever involved with Ouija board, witchcraft, New Age etc.? It started when I started hanging out with some friends from my high school days who are very anti-Catholic.
I found out later that one of them, a transgender female to male person, is plagued by demonic oppression at night. Demon faces and voices whisper and touching them, terrorizing then all night. They wrote it off as a sleep disorder and takes medication to try to control it but nothing works. My faith has considerably dwindled over the past two years. Feelings of annoyance and irritation when I try to pray or think of God.
Feelings of extreme irritation when I consider changing my life and going to confession again. Often accompanied by the smell of rot or burning in my house. Over the last few months I have severed them from my life completely. I feel like that has something to do with it. There can be a myriad of reasons why it is happening to you. But there could have been a transference of spirits from that transgendered person.
Based on what you have said I would say you likely have demons indwelled in you. From my observation having thoughts or hearing voices are telltale signs of having demons. It seems you are Roman Catholic. If you have idols or statues or paintings of Jesus or Mary you should get rid of it. There can be demonic attachments to those things. A lot of what they practice and teach in the Roman Catholicism is not based on the Bible.
I would really encourage you to study the Bible, especially about this. You may want to check out these demonic doorways and signs of oppression list https: I greatly appreciate your feedback. I think this more demonic oppression instead of possession. I do have icons and medals in my home. They have all been blessed. I also have exorcism salt that I can use on my door and bed. Thank you very much for input! Why just cats and bugs and demons and evil?? Brittney, here is your help — Please search You Tube: I believe in Jesus and the spirit realm but I have a problem with fear.
Even reading this blog and re telling my story makes me somewhat afraid. God is infinitely more powerful than the enemy. Hi Joy, I have experienced these heavy attacks at night and seen demonic beings since I was a little girl. Could never explain it and too afraid to talk about it, but one thing that was constant was a crippling fear that came over me. They would switch off the lights and move things in the room.
As I got older I received 3 prophecies all calling me to pray and intercede. Problem with this was everytime I tried to pray I immediately became aware of something else in the room and opened my eyes expecting to see something dangerous. It was then that I realized that was the spirit oppressing me all these years. All of a sudden I experienced a supernatural boldness and the Lord allowed me to see a demon sitting peeking at my from the foot of my bed. I immediately filled with boldness became furious that this was the creature that kept me in bondage for over 25 years. When I came out of that episode, I opened the door to the room and told my husband all that had happened, I remembered feeling shaken up and physical exhausted as I had run a race.
Since then I have not had an episode with sleep paralysis or night terrors. Please ask the Lord to help you overcome a spirit of fear. I get so mad when I think of everything it had taken from me in my youth and will do everything I can to tell others and expose it. If you need me to pray with you, just let me know. Joy, I fear no demons.
I have tortured and cast out many thousands of them! Please search You Tube: I am 33 and I have experienced sleep paralysis since I was a teenager. I have had a few times that they were spiritual attacks, but I would like to tell about one attack that was significant. Just like the author above I had turned from sin.
I stopped drinking and using drugs and turned to God. I turned from death and found love and life in the Lord. Soon after I had a dream which was a normal dream of an office party, but standing away from the crowd in my dream I saw a shadow person standing and staring at me. I then realized I was dreaming but that this entity was real. He told me to follow him and we walked away from the dream. I knew what he was showing me. Then he started turning into a very beautiful woman.
When morphed half way into the woman he asked once more if I would like to see more, and I said yes. There was fruit manifesting in the air above her mouth and it would fall just perfectly in her lips. I woke up and saw a dark shadow over my body laying on me. This happened to me and I know that it was real. And I know Jesus is the son of God and is the king of kings!
Christopher, Please search You Tube: When I was unbeliever I have many of that creepy experience. In my dream I spoke Jesus name and that name pushed back that attacks. Thanks to our God.
I do not have any problem on not commiting other sins but when lust kicks I cannot stand it. Lust is my weakness and Satan use it againts me. I get sleeping paralysis almost every night but mine only last for a few second. The was time when I was dreaming,this old women came to visit im my mothers house. As I talking to her,she want to teach me evil powers on how to be a witch. After that I had like 6 or 7 sleeping paralysis that same night. I then realised that they were attcking me because I had shared this video on telling people to repent. And I was always feel like evil spirits if I am watching Worldly programs.
Thank you for this post, you are right on. I started experiencing sleep paralysis almost every night and sometimes multiple times per night when I was around 15 years old. This went on for about 10 years. Every time, a black figure would open my bedroom door and come in to try and rape me. It never spoke to me and never actually touched me, but I knew its intentions. I believe this spirit was invited in by someone in my house watching pornography every night.
When I moved out on my own, I still experienced it but not as frequently. Then, during college I was very heavily into drinking and marijuana. This obviously invited the evil spirits in. I still had the exact same experience, with the demon opening my door and coming in to rape me but not actually being able to touch me. I was always able to wake myself up before anything happened.
One night I had a completely different experience though. He was not just a black figure the shape of a man like before, he was MASSIVE and I saw all the details — his hideous, demonic face with dog-like features, nasty claws and teeth and it was red and black. This spirit was hovering over my bed near the ceiling, but I could feel it on me. I felt that I was being raped.
At the time I felt that it was Satan. I always felt very uncomfortable during the paralysis and knew that it was something very bad I wanted to stop, but I never actually felt fearful that it would truly harm me. I would just tell myself over and over to wake up and concentrate really hard on moving my body. I have on occasion felt evil spirits creeping around my house though and trying to scare me, like dropping a hanging plant on my pillow where my head just was.
I have since come back to Jesus after turning my back on him during some difficult times I experienced.
Thank you all so much for confirming that my 6 decades of sleep paralysis does not happen to me alone. As it is expressed above, the willingness to accept the authenticity of sleep paralysis is verboten. Mine started when I was a child. I could do nothing but fearfully cringe and accept the numbing cold and cruel paralysis to come..
As you know, it never does stop completely. I asked Jesus to help me and forgive me my angst but that I had had enough of this disgusting persistent thing. It went away for several years. The entity continues however to this day but is cautious enough now to grab or enter me from behind.
Fast sincerely and pray that God should help you not to allow any attack on you again. I fell asleep on the top bunk next to my cousin who was also sleeping on a bunk bed. We had accidentally fallen asleep while the rest of the camp went to the pool. I remeber beginning to wake up because I could hear this wind blowing in my left ear and I remeber feeling the wind too.
I want to say my sophomore year of high school was a very bad time for me. I had always been a Christian and I believed that Jesus is the son of God and I loved him, but I was struggling with bad depression and hopelessness. It was like a heavy cloud that followed me. Around this time I began having sleep paralysis very very badly. I could sense a horrible presence that followed me around the house.
I would wake up in the middle of the night in incredible fear and sense that evil. It was the worst in my bedroom. Many times I would stay up all night with the lights on and wait for it to be morning time before I went to sleep to make me feel safer. I was able to do this because I was cyber schooled. I remeber many times I would awaken and be paralyzed but a loud sound in my head like a buzzing would fill my ears as I was paralyzed.
Every time this happened I called on Jesus in my mind over and over and eventually I would be able to move again, but the noise would get louder and louder in my mind. I would wake up and ask my mom if she could hear me yelling because she sleeps in the room next to me And Is a very light sleeper and she would tell me no. I could go on and on about my experiences with the paralysis. I was at that point. I would take naps and hear a loud trumpet sound and feel like I was being lifted up by my feet and taken somewhere, but I also fought it.
It stood over me and I was fully aware of it. One time I remeber having a dream of a demon in my room. The last time I remeber having it, again my cousin was sleeping next to me same one she had stayed over my house and I remeber having a dream that I was in the car with a family friend who happened to be a devoted Christian and an older man. He was driving and he looked over at me and told me that he was praying for me. I woke up and heard many evil voices whispering all at once and they all stopped. I have a few solid reasons why I think I had severe sleep paralysis, and I still struggle with certain sins now, but I know that God has ultimate authority over everything including Demons, and nothing can separate me from his love!
Please,have you overcome the problem entirely? I do intense prayer and I feel OK. How can I be entirely free? At first I thought it was my own, but I quickly realized that my own hands were placed elsewhere, the hand then disappeared at once. I felt a pressure on my chest and my breaths became more shallow so I continued to shout Jesus in my head until I was released at once.
I decided to repledge myself as a willing vessel. Now upon writing I consider the revelation that demons have attached themself to my brother whom I was sleeping next to; my sister who is very spiritual revealed their will to end his life. All I remember from then is a woman cloaked in darkness standing outside my room window, and I specifically noticed her hands which were very long and dark; similar to the hand I saw this time. In that memory I tried screaming, kind of like this time, but i cannot recall if I was awake or dreaming. I believe you will be interested in, helped by, this teaching: Pray through all your possessions and ask God what you need to get rid of.
Cursed objects are like little doorways that demons can enter your home. When I got rid of any object that was only vaguely associated with the occult the attacks stopped happening. Look out of occult symbols, objects. Ornaments that are of creatures associated with witchcraft E. May the Lord continue to give you the boldness and train your hands in warfare.
And may His protection and love always follow you. Continue to be humble. So this jerk was sitting on top of me in my dream last night. I can literally tell you he was much scarier in person. He was choking me. It just was like a loud humming sound. He was so skinny you could see the outlines of his bones and insides. His mouth was twisted and jagged, and his nose was turned upwards. His hair was almost a silver color and it was dirty looking to me. They color of his skin was like a grayish blue color. Kind of like how a white person looks when they are dead for a bit after the blood stops flowing.
Everything about this thing was gross. He made me feel gross. I remember exactly what this thing looks like though. I can close my eyes and still see in my mind what this thing looks like. I even drew a rough sketch and ironically I found other images from other people who saw a similar whatever it was. After a few times of saying it in my head I was finally able to speak it.
I said I rebuke you in the name of Jesus about ten times before it was almost like he was snatched off of me. I could see him being dragged away but it was so fast. It was so fast that I could still hear the humming noise even after I knew he was gone. I was so freaking scared even when I called on Jesus because this thing put fear in me. I was even afraid after he was gone. I was questioning my faith and my beliefs in Jesus.
To me even as crazy as I sound and feel right now, this situation confirms my beliefs that Jesus Christ does exist and he is real. I feel crazy for saying this, but I can tell you I believe now for sure, no doubt. Jesus saved me last night, literally. I believe Jesus saved me because that thing was ripped right off of me. A better doctor, too. The memory even makes it easier to recognize and reject the profane venality of Donald Trump.
Art and life , Michelangelo , Michelangelo's Pieta , Trump still an asshole. The shrouded sun, smearing cirrhotic orange across our region. As asthmatics crowd hospitals and schools keep children inside, it feels right to try, again, to convince Republicans of the catastrophe that is man-made climate change.
Ryan Zinke, ravager of public lands, assures us that wildfires torching North America are unrelated to climate change. Because common sense tells us trees desiccated from heat and drought are no more flammable than ones growing in Okefenokee. With evidence all but choking them, deniers must be deaf, blind, and dumb. This applies especially to the squatter behind the Resolute Desk. To Trump, climate change is a hoax birthed in China. Still others claim that suggesting humans can affect climate is an affront to whomever they pray to.
Yes, climate has been changing since the beginning. The investigators assessed the commonality of teleological thinking amongst conspiracists and science-deniers. A positive correlation was found. Here are some current, uncontestable, ominous facts, denying which threatens everyone, including the deniers: Around the world, nighttime temperatures are rising, bringing significant health implications, even more than daytime. Increased susceptibility to heat stroke among them. His latest rodomontade on coal was breathtakingly incoherent, demonstrating a level of ignorance astounding even for him.
Teleology or handcrafted misinformation: Recognize the need to consider their progeny, if not all humankind. Engage adult thinking, put away childish things. Friday, August 3, Selling Out. Economic growth , Russian hacking , Trump and press , Trump hate-mongering , Trump tax cuts.
Friday, July 27, Swamp Gas. Friday, July 6, Big Joe. Thursday, July 5, Conversations With Doris. Sometimes people email me their responses. Worth preserving and sharing, for sure. It began with this: On Jan 15, , at Schwab, I so appreciate your commentaries, always en pointe and on such meaningful issues. One issue I've long been aware of and feel strongly about is this: The strategy is demeaning, speaking down to, cajoling and shaming the listeners as though they were children, in the most and worst blatant, transparent efforts to sell products.
Essentially, the pitch is to shame people into buying the products, e. I agree with you; my wife and I often comment on commercials for the same reason. Lately, it seems, the dad is always the doofus. I suppose it's a side-effect of an economy based on consumers. Maybe that's a hook for a column. Much as I think capitalism is the most productive and inventive and successful economic model, it has that dark side.
I think of it, too, in the sense that it seems to require ever-increasing population, which, at some point, becomes unsustainable. Your name is familiar to me. I think I had a patient by that name. On Jan 21, , at 9: Schwab, Thank you for your response, Lovely and progressive: But who is noticing other than you, your wife, and I? I believe that the lousy economy makes consumers weak and more vulnerable to becoming prey to the vultures on the wing, still flying high. I believe that capitalism is a default system, able to relatively maintain itself because we are not evolved enough to sustain a more equitable system.
Re your commentary of yesterday, Sunday, Jan uary 30th, re climate change: May I suggest this: I don't know why this is underlining, it is not intentional and I don't know how to stop it: You write that you don't understand the deniers. It is this sort of fear which precludes any intellectual honesty and clarity, I believe. I've written this clumsily but, I hope, somewhat articulated. No, I haven't been your patient although I think it would have been a privilege. And I tend to not affiliate.
In my "introductory column" a few weeks back I mentioned that my wife and I were among the ten original founding families of Temple Beth Or I even came up with the name for its newsletter, The ORacle. But we let it slide out of our lives after a couple of years, and before it came to be in its current location, which we visited back then, when it was still an Orthodox synagogue, with dwindling numbers.
On Jan 22, , at I didn't see your introductory column, After one or two times I didn't attend again, not because the Temple was insufficient in any way and who was I to evaluate in the slightest way; I hadn't the least of credentials , but because my skepticism and agnosticism prevailed, and I came away feeling a genuine fraud. I was a fraud on either side of the fence. But I'm delighted to "belong" in at least the shadowy way that I do. And so I thank you for being one of the founders. And have always enjoyed the clever name of the ORacle.
Now that I look at it, I realize the column in which I mentioned Beth Or wasn't my introductory one, but in one about Christmas: I grew up in a Jewish household, the kind that celebrated by feeling guilty about not attending services. A few generations back there are rabbis in the family, and founders of temples. Matter of fact my wife and I were among the ten religiously mixed families that founded Temple Beth Or, right here in Everett. I do recall, however, the pride of creation when our first Friday night service was scheduled, after many months of effort.
We really did it, the real deal: The last sentence is, really, the operative one, although the column was about the bigger picture of separation of church and state. I've enjoyed your very thoughtful and provocative emails. Much to chew on, and, in my case, to agree with. On Jan 25, , at Schwab, I missed that one as well I began to notice your column just recently , and am glad that you recaptured this paragraph for me.
I'm so enjoying it, having a great chuckle from the characterization of your childhood household first sentence: We Jews do seem to set ourselves up for no-wins. I do want to say this: I believe that there is the Holy Trinity of Jewish Life: Shame, Guilt, and Fear. At least, in my experience. I have known a few exceptions and have envied them, i. But I must generalize to make a point, that many have internalized and mirrored the anti-Semites' animosity, antipathy, loathing. I had no idea, until I was in at least middle-age, of how common it is that Jews run from their Jewishness.
And carry on their shoulders the guilt for doing so as they run? As pessimistic and unpleasant as my perspective might be, I believe that the hard-core anti-Semites will prevail. They are the hardy perennials who will survive us. There is so much strength, iron, in their unquestioned beliefs, attitudes. They stand in one place, still, unmoved and unmoving, while we dance around them struggling to convince them that we are worthy of acceptance.
The really tough, probably not-so-sensitive Jews. I hope that I haven't offended you. I have lived intimately with all sorts of purposeful and not-so-purposeful anti-Semites. And the elegant ones can do as much damage as the crass ones. It's an interesting and challenging subject, all right. I've always been proud, if that's the right term for something over which I had no control, of being Jewish and, as you said, of what it represents historically and in terms of its disproportionate representation among great thinkers and artists, among others.
It's always a pleasure finding out someone I've admired is Jewish. Like, just yesterday, Stephen Fry! And I find a sense of commonality with any stranger I meet who turns out to be Jewish; a preformed understanding. But, of course, the guilt, the guilt. I think the time I felt worst was in med school, when I was dating a fellow student, whose family consisted mainly of very religious Jews. And her father, who was pretty much non-religious. I went to her home in New Rochelle for Seder one year, done in the most traditional way: My lack of Hebrew language was evident, and considered disgraceful.
Considering what the family had been through during and in escaping the Holocaust, I couldn't disagree although the same was true of my family. I felt I'd been handed a baton, kept safe at great cost, and dropped it. They all but kicked me out of their house. That's, in fact other than the occasional slip of a tongue now and then , the worst "anti-Semitism" I think I've ever felt, and I deserved it. Like a lot of teenage kids, there was a time I thought of becoming a rabbi.
I went to a religious camp in CA one high school summer. Learned more than religion from a girl there… Now, though, I can't make myself believe any of it. But I retain my respect for the religion; particularly, at least among Reform Jews, their view, or lack thereof, of afterlife: A much higher morality than that of Christendom. I don't know if I share your optimism about the ability of Jews to prevail over anti-Semitism.
It's very real, and, along with all manner of hatreds, rising in this country with the Tea Party and paranoid "patriot" types. I think it's possible we could become a bible-based theocracy here; and would, if the South had its way. And my view of Netanyahu is that his intransigence is destructive to any prospect of peace. But I admit to having little real knowledge of the politics of Israel; nor do I hold much optimism for peace there no matter who's in charge.
On Jan 30, , at 1: Schwab, Firstly, I want to say how much I appreciated, enjoyed, last Sunday's column, and felt the grainy textures of fog that you made so tangible. When I've most wished I were a man rather than a woman has been while walking- or wanting to walk- on the beach in heavy, heavy fog, unable to see anything around me and with the foghorn from Westport blowing through it. I've felt it now and then, when it was safe. So I know what you mean. I had to look up Stephen Fry. What an eclectic man. That's all good proof that he's Jewish. And the commonality with a Jewish stranger!
When non-Jews say to me that Jews- or other groups- are, "cliquish" I try to encourage coerce? And, as you say, mostly it has assured commonalities and, generally, when there is disagreement there remains that elemental thread that has good value and that people are more hesitant to casually sever. Generally, as with any species it works the best, not because we necessarily love one another but because it precludes our hurting one another in that particular way.
I was moved by your experience with your fellow student's family. The ironies, the gratuitous, inflicted pain. I read once an opinion that it was the most religious, intransigent amongst the holocaust victims who saved and preserved Judaism, in the camps. So, perhaps that narrowly-focused single-mindedness is absolutely critical. I wonder how her non-religious father managed to survive in that situation. I couldn't agree more re the altruism of Reform Judaism. I'm proud of that, too. Re Netanyahu, the issues of anti-Semitism, Israel, and so forth: If it is a given that we are at least partially the products of the building blocks of our experiences I would make this observation: It was in the low hills outside Tripoli and there were caves, with curtains over the entrances, and the narrow road went through in front of this long line of caves.
As we drove through the curtains were quickly closed, and there was no one left outside. It was, to all appearances, routine for them, quick, hiding, over and over again. In Tehran, I taught Spanish to students at the University and over time their some of them hatred of Americans, and especially Jews, was expressed.
These were generally the poorer students, and it was seething. Once, an Israeli soccer team came to play against the Iranians, and a man in the bleachers yelled out for the Israeli team, and he was literally beaten to death on the spot. In Russian Georgia, Tbilisi, I inadvertently walked into the men's section of a synagogue, realized my mistake and walked out, and as I was walking away a man brushed past me and whispered, "Don't believe them; it's bad for us here".
These are a few experience on which I justify my fear, my biases, my own intransigence. And I am aware that, only to some extent, emotion is preempting rational thought. Still, again and again, in my own mind, I had the confirmation one looks for for my original premise. Schwab, as a Californian I am glad and proud that you got a really pragmatic education at the religious camp in California. Doris, What a fabulous letter! By the way, if we're gonna keep conversing, you call me Sid and I'll call you Doris. You've had an amazing life. And I don't doubt that if I'd had those experiences my perspectives would be different.
I'm not pollyannish enough to think peace is really possible for Israel. But if it is, I think Bibi is making it harder. On the other hand, I really have no idea. It was a language study tour I'd had about six year of Russian language, and, at that time, was pretty much able to converse freely. We had a surprising amount of free time to wander around and meet people. I had a conversation with a Jewish man in a cafe in Moscow, and he said sort of the same thing: We visited a school on a collective farm and on the wall were pictures of the riots in the US South, police hosing blacks, dogs being let loose.
It was current events. And yet, at least based on one encounter with a young woman, their prejudices were even more primitive: She was afraid to: I used to have a blog, Surgeonsblog, which in its prime got lots of viewing and several nice accolades: Fox "news" online, too. It's still out there, and gets a fair amount of traffic; I respond to comments when they come in. Anyhow, as I was winding down, having run out of ideas being retired made it sort of finite , I wrote about that experience.
Since it's there for the world to see, I guess it's not offensive to clue you in: On Feb 6, , at Hello, Sid thank you for this thoughtful gesture , Before all else I'd like to go back to "the guilt, the guilt". I believe that guilt is an acquired taste. To substantiate this I'd like to pass on an interaction that strongly impacted me there have been almost a lifetime of others, of course, and no amount of them has been successful in alleviating mine: My sister-in-law is a product of the upper echelons of the British class system.
And it wasn't the sort of shame that I related to, e. Theirs was and is a shame of not upholding the social mores of their culture. I was so interested in your experiences in Russia. Comparing yours with my own, since one of the times I was there was also during the Cold War, And envious. That you have a good knowledge of Russian. As happened so often with immigrants, my mother never spoke Russian, although I have been assured that even shtetl Jews knew the language because commerce demanded it, and my father left St.
Petersburg when he was just two. But even Yiddish they kept to themselves and I feel the loss of any language they knew and might have passed on. But, honestly, I probably wouldn't have been open to it when I was young. A very long story. I was jailed and grilled for three nights and then put back on the train with a minder who, really, turned out to be a wimp. How stark the Russian prejudices were that you encountered! And yet we in this country are just as susceptible. I've heard once that years ago someone at least in the military, before integration, had thought that Blacks had tails and, once, that someone at least believed that Jews did.
One of the most amazing phenomena in the realm of mass manipulation was at a gathering of the Citizens Exchange Corps, a naive group attempting to ease some of the tension with the Russians during the Cold War. This was in Moscow, and all from English-speaking countries, I think about six or seven hundred people in a very large auditorium, with three Russians on the stage presenting their agenda.
At some point a fellow behind me, who I later found out was a student from Ohio State, called out demanding answers about the fate of a political prisoner, Yuri Orlov, re why he was still being held a political prisoner with no trial. It was incredible to see, after just a few minutes, the whole auditorium, orchestrated by the lead presenter on the stage, vociferously turn on this fellow- one of their own- as a mindless mass. However skilled the Russian was, it was inconceivable that the audience couldn't see how they were being manipulated?
These were relatively worldly people. The audience was putty in the Russian's hands. I so enjoyed the Stephen Fry video. I know almost nothing about him but I do now know that he has at least one very talented admirers. I think that, after a fairly rapid scan, the Surgeonsblog is going to be memorable.
I've got to be able to sit with it at leisure, unhurried, able to absorb it. I hope that's everyone I know! And I see that it's a lead to other tantalizing reading. It was sent to me by Nancy Sosnove, a longtime member of the Temple. Perhaps you've known her. I appreciated your column of the 3rd. It's unfettered, unafraid of labels. Doris, your latest is a carnivore's delight, as in meaty. With your connection to India during English rule, you might be interested in a fascinating novel, "Old Filth," which begins there.
And travels to Hong Kong, too; a similar dynamic. There's a "sequel," too, of sorts, The Man In The Wooden Hat"; really, the same story told from the point of view of the character's wife. The author is a woman who's now your age, by the way. To the subject of Jewish guilt. I wonder how you see its origins. In contemporary society, I think of it as never living up to some sort of ideal, usually whatever our parents demanded.
For them, I suppose the same. Or do you see it as related to the historical suffering and discrimination: Or is it something else altogether, in your view? I appreciated the film clip you sent. I'll need to see the entire film. My choice to study Russian came from my grandfather, born in Russia, who came here as a teenager. Family legend has it that he left on the run, having studied agriculture in Moscow, before the revolution, where he became enamored of the "power to the people" of Bolshevism.
On return to his small town, he evidently spread the word a little too much and one night the chief of police came to his father, the rabbi, and told him he better get my grandfather out of town post haste, because he'd been ordered to arrest him. How he got from that tiny village to wherever it was from where he departed, how he got passage, etc, all lost in the ravages of time, and I was too stupid to ask such things while he was alive.
I do remember seeing his diploma from that school, and hearing him sing Russian songs. He'd pretty much forgotten the language other than that, and had only a slight accent. An elegant man, he always wore a coat and tie, ended up manager of Metropolitan Life in Portland. But prior to that, after arrival in New York, he worked for a while on the ranch of a Senator Flynn from Pennsylvania, and then, having seen an ad in a newspaper, hopped a train for California, where he took a job on the ranch of Jack London, eventually becoming his livestock foreman, and becoming friends with London.
They'd ride the range shooting coyotes to keep them away from the sheep; and when Jack was in Alaska, my grandpa was tasked with keeping an eye on his wife, Charmaine. Many times Grandpa showed me the pistol Jack London gave him. Sadly, I have no idea where it is now. When in Russia I was complemented on my accent, told I didn't sound like an American, most of whom had learned terrible pronunciation and cadence, even teachers of it, some of whom were on that study tour.
For the record, my grandmother was quite a lady, too. Born in Portland in the s, her father was one of the founders of Temple Beth Israel there, and she was Oregon's first president of the League of Women Voters. So family legend has it. I know she was very active in it. You're a terrific writer. I hope you have or will plan to write some sort of autobiography.
One moment you have a lot of them. Sometimes your mind is so vacant that you want to puke, or punch someone in the face. Yet you notice an underlining stillness in you no matter where you go. No matter how gregarious you used to be, by the middle of this you probably find yourself alarmingly isolated. All your social charms are gone.
Yet most of the time you feel just fine without company. Aloneness is rich and meditative and seldom lonely. And if your head is stuffed with spiritual doctrines, this would freak you out, because being spiritually advanced means you should be as open as possible, no? The alchemical change process needs space to happen. Listen to your body. Leave this field empty if you're human: One day you feel sublime and free.
Nothing bad has happened, but you feel like a stinky sock soaked in the rain, miserable and heavy. Not even your shrinks or your shamans. So go ahead and fire them already. You are feeling this way because a new system is being constructed in you, while the heavy debris of your old structure is burning away. Try not to engage with the dark thoughts accompanying the smoke.
Know that they are not yours anymore. You need lots, and lots, and lots of rest. Otherwise you are tired all the time. If you want to take a nap after breakfast, consider this your new normal and go ahead and lie down. All the growth and reconfiguration in you takes enormous amount of energy.
I remember when I was in high school, I used to listen to Harry Chapin's song “ Cat's in the Cradle” and contemplate that I don't want that to be me: “I don't want to. his teachings on practical spirituality. He died in , and his writings have been criticized by the Catholic church. I'm grateful for having been exposed to his .
Think of your body as a computer changing operating system.