Learn more about Amazon Prime. This wonderful new 2nd Edition of Rima Rudner's self-help book welcomes readers into her life and makes them feel at home. This new revised edition adds insights into how to get happy and stay happy despite how much more stressful our world has become with the advances in technology and the fears of global terrorism. She shares new insights that can lead to inner-peace and provides "Happiness Tools" that make this book a must read for anyone who wants to improve the quality of their lives. Readers find out how to reverse the self-defeating habits and behaviors that are sabotaging their joy of life.
For those who feel stuck and are constantly searching for answers, the author teaches her readers how to stop wishing something good will happen and how to make it happen. She stresses that happiness is not about what happens in one's life, but one's attitude about what happens in one's life. This easy-to-read, casual, and often humorous book is rich with examples and advice that can transform unhappy lives in joyful adventures. Rudner provides a list of razor sharp "Happiness Rules" in the final pages of the book to be used as a happiness jump start every morning.
Choose to Be Happy helps readers regain their self-esteem, overcome guilt, fears and worries, triumph over failure and frustration, and let go of past hurt and blame. Sadness is replaced with joy, hate turns into love, and negatives into positives. Readers discover their inner-beauty, purpose, and authentic selves. Read more Read less. Customers who viewed this item also viewed. Page 1 of 1 Start over Page 1 of 1. How We Choose to Be Happy: Sponsored products related to this item What's this? Do you have to deal with other humans on a daily basis?
Maybe this guide will help it suck less. It's not your fault if you lack self-discipline. Discover simple habits and exercises to get disciplined and achieve your goals. If you don't grow, you aren't really living. And being faithful to them is usually deeply rewarding. So the more you embrace your values, the greater your sense of fulfillment.
What thoughts, feelings, sensations, and urges am I willing to have to complete this goal? We are willing to go through things we don't like, want, or approve of in order to reach the meaningful goal. Success in life means living by your values. Fulfillment is here, in this moment, anytime you act in line with your values.
You can never know in advance whether you will achieve your goals; all you can do is keep moving forward in a valued direction. The future is not in your control. What is in your control is your ability to continue your journey, step by step, learning and growing as you progress--and getting back on track whenever you wander. There's no point in beating yourself up when you screw up or fail to follow through. Guilt trips and self-criticism don't motivate you to make meaningful changes; they just keep you stuck, dwelling on the past.
Ask yourself, "What do I want to do now? Rather than dwelling on the past, what can I do in the present that's important or meaningful? But in every painful circumstance there is an opportunity for us to grow. The only things we can control are our actions and our attention, so put your life's energy there. The feelings I'm having right now are A, B, C. The thoughts I'm having right now are D, E, F.
And the actions I can take to deal with this crisis effectively are G, H, I. Mar 25, Zahra rated it really liked it Shelves: Jan 10, Sarah rated it it was ok Shelves: Essentially, ACT suggests that there is no way to eliminate pain in life, so learning to accept it and channel your energy into activities that have value to you leaves you more prepared to live effectively and without a lot of wasted time fighting reality.
I agree with the central theory. I also agree that the majority of the suggested techniques associated with ACT are beneficial for many people. I take issue with two things in relation to this book. First, there were a few times as I was reading that the tone felt condescending.
This wonderful new 2nd Edition of Rima Rudner's self-help book welcomes readers into her life and makes them feel at home. This new revised edition adds . The Positive Psychology of Buddhism and Yoga and millions of other books are available for Amazon Kindle. Learn more The Positive Psychology of Buddhism and Yoga: Paths to A Mature Happiness 2nd Edition. by . Total price: $
I felt very little empathy or understanding in relation to how difficult it can be to endure the kinds of things that go beyond the basic, universal aches and pains of life. I suppose that ACT might be appropriate after some time has passed and folks like this are experiencing more stability, but I also think that there are some things that need deeper exploration than ACT can offer. Harris did mention several times throughout the book to take what works and leave the rest. I just hope he meant that we could leave the whole thing if necessary and determined to be clinically appropriate.
Secondly, I also find it problematic how ACT as presented in this book hijacks Eastern philosophies that have been around for thousands of years, repackages them, and sells them as a new, primarily Western therapeutic modality. Harris was explicit about the fact that none of what he was describing was related to religion, meditation, spirituality, etc. Life is pain; non-attachment is the solution; the importance of mindfulness; the benefit of breath work… This all starts to feel a lot like cultural appropriation and philosophical plagiarism.
This review has gotten long and rambling. In sum, I think Harris and ACT have a lot to offer, I just have some personal beef with the way it was presented in this particular book. Sep 11, Karate1kid rated it it was amazing Shelves: If you are willing to read just one self-help book - this is the one. If you are looking for If you are willing to read just one self-help book - this is the one.
If you are looking for an in depth discussion of the psychological theory and relevant research see the second edition of ACT by Hayes, Strosahl and Wilson. Those books are not easy to read. I don't recommend them as a starting point even for professionals new to ACT, and they are completely unnecessary for readers interested in self-help. Harris does a very good job simplifying the philosophy and therapy ideas, explaining motivations and translating it all into practical advice and exercises. There is always room for improvement, but this book already is much better than good enough.
Oct 24, Chanel J rated it it was ok. While the ideas and techniques discussed in this book are interesting, the way it is written is insultingly patronising and alternates between speaking to you like a child and yelling at you like an impatient parent. This attitude ruined the book for me. Jan 08, Hayley Waterhouse rated it really liked it. I don't really know how to summarise this book.
When I first started reading it I thought I would read the whole thing through, just to see what it is like, without doing the exercises. If I thought it had some merit I would read it a second time doing all the exercises and taking my time with it. As it happens some of the exercises really got stuck in my head and I found myself doing them anyway!
This book felt like it was written just for me. I think I have so much to learn from it and that it I don't really know how to summarise this book. I think I have so much to learn from it and that it could really make a difference in my life. It is probably the most helpful self-help book I have ever read. I look forward to reading this again, putting into practice what I learn and changing the way I view life.
I'm going to buy a paper copy so it's easier to flick through and refer to. This book basically says stop trying to argue your 'negative' thoughts and emotions, stop trying to avoid them, suppress them or change them. Just let them come and go without paying them any attention. A very interesting read. I wanted to give it 5 stars but I will wait six months and see! The Happiness Trap is one of the best self help books I've read. Definitely recommend it if you want to learn more about ACT. Sep 17, Aqsa marked it as to-read Shelves: Sep 30, Robin Gillmore rated it it was amazing. I have read a lot of self-help books over the years, but this one is different and has made a significant difference to my quality of life.
Acceptance Commitment Therapy is very different to traditional approaches to anxiety and depression because it teaches tools of acceptance rather than control, using three principal mechanisms: Diffusion - decoupling ourselves from our thoughts 2. Expansion - accepting and making room for uncomfortable thoughts, feelings, urges and sensations 3. Connection - I have read a lot of self-help books over the years, but this one is different and has made a significant difference to my quality of life.
Connection - focussing on actions and behvaiours which align with our deeply held values I cannot recommend this book enough! Aug 01, Ryan Norbauer rated it it was amazing. I read this because it's based on the research I was involved in at university. Turns out to be an amazingly science-oriented form of practical existentialism. Much more thoughtful than its pop self-help cover and title would suggest. Sep 04, Rubina rated it really liked it Shelves: ACT is a scientifically based program for creating a meaningful life through accepting our internal experience, staying present, and acting on our values.
It teaches that purely trying to replace negative thoughts with positive "ACT Acceptance and Commitment Therapy is not a religious, mystical, or spiritual path, although it may have some parallels. It teaches that purely trying to replace negative thoughts with positive ones are difficult due to the nature of our protective mind and ego. As such, we should recognize our thoughts as being just that - "thoughts", and learn to defuse unpleasant thoughts so that they will lose their ability to frighten, disturb, worry, stress or depress us.
We should learn to expand, open up and make space for these feelings. Connecting fully with whatever is happening right here and now, instead of dwelling on the past or worrying about the future, we can deeply connect with the present. Through identifying values which are a reflection of what is important to us, our lives will have direction, meaning and purpose, motivating us to take action to make important changes. The author comes across fairly quickly as a self-serving "I wrote this book to glorify myself" type. There are several good techniques in there but you find yourself wishing to tell the author to come down from their high position a bit.
Personally I much preferred the style of Charles Linden's guide over this book and would actually recommend the Linden method for those who are trying to break out of anxiety disorder as opposed to general depression. Mar 08, Mahmoud rated it really liked it Shelves: Jul 07, Chase Parsley rated it really liked it.
I started this book with skepticism but by the end was really into it. Harris combats cognitive strategies for being happy with more behaviorist methods, and some of his arguments are quite persuasive. He also does a good job talking about the importance of values in your life. A very good and easy to read book. Feb 17, Simon Eskildsen rated it liked it. The book preaches the methodology "ACT": The 'happiness trap' is that we typically define happiness by the intensity and quantity of positive emotion and only a little negative.
Instead, he advocates we elicit a mindful practice and let our thoughts pass through, label them, and distinguish them from our own. He uses the analogy of quicksand: He describes an The book preaches the methodology "ACT": He describes an urge as a wave: In the second part of the book around 'connecting with values,' Harris describes the paramount difference between goals objectives, checklists and values true forever. That 'get rich' his example is not a value, but an objective, and we'll be able to get the value sooner rather than later if we figure out the value propelling the goal.
Is it simply the desire to relax? Are you working your butt off to get to a dream-state of sandy beaches, instead of reaching a compromise today? Conflicting values, such as "successful career" and "successful parent," can typically be balanced if you work hard enough at finding the compromises, such as calling your family every day on travel. Lastly, Harris centers the book around taking action. This is the standard advice of breaking down goals into simple milestones to make them more achievable.
Don't "learn Spanish," but "order something in Spanish," "have a five sentence exchange," and "make someone laugh in Spanish. However, I found it a little nail-and-hammer with the ACT-model and a little try-hard-spiritual. The number of exercises and checklists seemed a bit over the top, I feel that the number of exercises could've been curated more carefully.
The stories to back it up seem exceedingly anecdotal from his own practice. This doesn't make it any less practical but does leave me with the impression that the author may be a little overly dogmatic. That said, the advice is valuable and practical. Jul 18, Keehan Koorn rated it it was amazing. Clear, concise, with a good sense of humour, this book guides people through the pitfalls and opportunities that come with how we think. It's got great examples and exercises that are easy to understand and challenging to complete! It's on my therapy shelf and I recommend it often.
I really liked the strategies that were provided in the book. I learnt about accepting thoughts and using strategies to manage these thoughts. Nov 25, K rated it really liked it Shelves: I had been hearing about ACT here and there and was mildly curious, but decided to pick up this inexpensive book at the encouragement of one of my students.
I'm happy I did. ACT takes a refreshing approach to negative feelings. Stop struggling against them, says the theory. They're part of life. The more you fight them, the worse it is. After using a lot of CBT with mixed results, I appreciated an alternative to arguing with negative cognitions. ACT is based on six principles: Defusion, or the imp I had been hearing about ACT here and there and was mildly curious, but decided to pick up this inexpensive book at the encouragement of one of my students.
Defusion, or the importance of recognizing that your thoughts are just thoughts and not absolute reality; Expansion, or making room for unpleasant feelings instead of struggling to push them away; Connection, or engaging fully on whatever you're doing right now instead of focusing on the past or future; the Observing self, or getting in touch with the part of your mind that simply observes without judging; Values, or the need to clarify and connect with what's important to you; and Committed Action, or creating a meaningful life through taking action guided by your values.
According to ACT, the combination of mindfulness, values, and action leads to psychological flexibility, or the ability to adapt to a variety of situations in life. For example, we can find more happiness with ourselves through self-worth. Self-worth, according to the Dalai Lama, is having a source of affection, compassion, and a sense of dignity We need a strong sense of contentment to feel happier without obtaining objects, which assists in finding self-worth.
Along with material things, we need to be able to decide what is going to bring us happiness or just pleasure. We have to reflect on what will ultimately bring us positive or negative consequences when dealing with a positive or negative action we perform to bring us satisfaction First step is learning. Analyse thoughts and emotions to determine if they are beneficial or hurtful.
Try not to "want. Positive desires are good. Happiness is found through love, affection, closeness and compassion. Not only do humans have the capability of being happy, but also the Dalai Lama believes that each human naturally has a gentle quality within them. With gentleness comes aggression, however.
People argue that aggression is the dominant behavior for the human race. Although aggression can occur, overall our fundamental nature is gentleness. The Dalai Lama believes that because of the advancement in human intelligence we are believed to be capable of controlling our aggression versus our kindness; however, if the intellect level were to decrease then the result would be destructive. So, overall, the Dalai Lama believes that although it is possible to go down the path of aggression there is always the natural ability to be compassionate again.
This gives our life meaning, which leads to overall happiness.
That positive atmosphere can be found through closeness and compassion. Compassion and intimacy are two of the strongest emotions a person can achieve. It is impossible to find these emotions solely within ourselves. We are constantly trying to search for another to be compassionate about, or intimate with. One needs to approach others with a positive attitude, to create an open and friendly atmosphere.
Being openly friendly with others, allows one to be compassionate.
Jun 18, Alice rated it liked it. Even though I found much of it familiar, I appreciated the reminders and like how the program's laid out a lot. I think they believe truths that are very closely related to these that get twisted. Jul 07, Chase Parsley rated it really liked it. Amazon Restaurants Food delivery from local restaurants. Don't "learn Spanish," but "order something in Spanish," "have a five sentence exchange," and "make someone laugh in Spanish. Learn more about Amazon Giveaway.
Intimacy is the central core of our existence. It creates openness with others, which is necessary for a happy lifestyle. Intimacy is also physical closeness. One can express himself too much also. Once a person has opened oneself completely to everyone, the special intimacy is lost, and it is hard to satisfy the need of connection with one special person. By opening oneself to the world around us, it creates the opportunity to form special bonds with someone new, or build upon a relationship one may already have.
According to Chapter 5, Howard C. Cutler also asks The Dalai Lama a question about connections and relationships between people: He thinks that it is very important and extremely helpful to be able to try to put ourselves in the other person's place and see how would we react to the situation. For instance when he was in an argument with someone and his reaction was inappropriate without trying to understand and appreciate what the other person might think — no empathy. The Dalai Lama does not just refer to caring for each other; he also finds relationships very important and differentiates them in two ways.
The second way is based on true human feelings spiritual. The Dalai Lama also informs about sexual relationships. You can have a sexual relationship with no respect for each other. Usually it is just temporary satisfaction. Or sexual relationships bonded with a person who we think is kind, nice and gentle.
After discussing relationships and sexual relationships in general, The Dalai Lama continues to speak about love. He does not believe in true love — in falling in love. His opinion on this subject is very negative; he describes idealized romantic love as a fantasy and that it is unattainable — just simply not worth it. According to Chapter 6 we can say that the Dalai Lama clearly represents his opinions on human relationships, empathy and sexual attraction, and he tries to explain them in a simple way. These are the most important and most discussed topics in Chapter 6.
We find out how empathy is needed in human relationships. That understanding and trying to appreciate the other person's emotional background is priceless.
Also that relationships are either materially or spiritually based. On the other hand, the Dalai Lama does not believe in love and describes it as a fantasy or imagination, although he thinks that true relationships are based on true human feelings. All these new information are related to Chapter 7's main topic which is basically about the value and benefits of compassion. This chapter is composed of defining compassion and the value of human life. This feeling of compassion is broken down into two types.