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The underlying reasons for depression can be very deep-rooted and nigh-impossible to fix. You can't fix a conflict or relationship that's a decade or more in the past, and is past the point of any reconciliation, despite it devouring you from the inside at every waking moment. Patients might also have pursued massage, acupuncture, yoga, crystals, whatever the fuck else. What issue am I not addressing? Unfortunately, as long as the true causes of our depression remain unaddressed, it will return again and again. Trust me, people have tried. Try your best to be consistent.
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Getting Rid of Stupid: Culprit of Their Depression [Lisa Lynn Ramos] on Amazon. com. *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. In a community where. Culprit. of. Their. Depression. Copyright © by Lisa Lynn Ramos All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced by any means, graphic .
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So, congratulations on your clear understanding because that is actually an accomplishment. The key outstanding question in your description above will be your deciding whether the marriage can be saved.
This is going to come down to how much selfishness, disrespectfulness and irresponsibility you can take from him and still feel okay about yourself and your situation. It is not a question of whether the marriage can endure; it is more a question of how much disrespect you will put up with before it becomes better to leave than to stay. Perhaps you will have to learn to be more assertive with him, not backing down, not giving in, and not letting him off the hook when he does something selfish all the while, doing your level best to communicate rationally, and to not raise your voice or become whiny.
Any attempts you make to assert your needs will likely be met with resistance, however. It seems that he escalates and threatens whenever you push him for something because he knows that this will shut you down. You can expect that the more firmly you advocate for respectful thoughtful treatment, the more you will be yelled at and threatened with divorce. You will need to be ready for this. This man knows your fears and uses them to keep you down. Your challenge is to stop being afraid, or to at least stop letting your fears keep you paralyzed.
When you stop allowing yourself to be paralyzed with fear, he stops having leverage over you and the power dynamic within your relationship will necessarily change. When you find your gentle but persistently firm voice and stop responding to his threats he will either start giving ground and behaving better, or he will escalate ever further until it is truly dangerous to live with him. If it becomes necessary to leave him in order to preserve your self-respect or safety, I hope you will find the courage to do so, however.
There is life after divorce, and it can be sweet. At least, sweeter than your present experience seems to be. More "Ask Anne" View Columnists. For those seeking addiction treatment for themselves or a loved one, the MentalHelp.